High Stakes

It's been over a month since I've updated this thing... Since the, I've had surgery and been going a litte nuts with school....

Working with sick people is never easy. I've always known that life was precious, and I've always tried to approach everyone I've treated/come in contact with with compassion.

But lately I realize how precious life truly is. It all came as a result of falling in love. It sounds strange to say, but it's unbelievably true. It breaks my heart even more these days to see people suffering and clinging to life when there's so much beauty in my own life. You never fully grasp the gravity of a situation until you know first hand how much is at stake.

Death is never easy, even if you're alone and have nothing to live for. (and I find myself laughing at having said that because it sounds as though I'd been through it a million times, like I know all about it; ha.) But when you're surrounded by sheer beauty and love and support all around you, it's even harder to let go of this thing we call life.

Just recently we lost a child who was frequently in the ER to cancer. He put up such a fight. up until the very end, you thought he might just make it; his will was so strong.

Luckily, since that boy we haven't had anyone else go. A baby who was teetering on the edge of life just a month or so ago came back the other day looking more wonderful than any of us could ever have hoped for, and it made me think "here's one more individual who will hopefully experience all the wonderful things life has to offer". Even in the midst of all the madness this world has been going through lately, the wonder still exists.

And although I do feel incredibly exhausted from the job I've held the last 4 1/2 years, most of me is pretty convinced that I want to continue helping people so that they, too, can discover all the things I have encountered lately.

I feel privileged.

Disappointed by Healthcare.

Now that I've really experienced both sides of the healthcare coin, I can honestly say there's nothing great about it.

Granted, countless lives have been saved by advances in medical technology and continual enrollment of crazy, brave people into medical school, but the encounter I had last week as an inpatient was far from satisfactory.

I'm actually considering a lawsuit. People have sued others and won for less.

First and foremost unwise medical decision: to give the OK for my discharge with an elevated white blood cell count and elevated liver enzymes.

Second and closely related medical decision: discharging me without even bothering to draw my blood again to see if the labwork had gone back to normal.

Anyone with at least an ounce of medical knowledge knows that you should not discharge someone from the hospital if labwork is abnormal...Particularly when there is an infection present resulting from an "-itis" of any kind... Most commonly, appendicitis, or in my case, cholecystitis. An infection could cause sepsis and ultimately lead to death.

Now, the attacks of pain are occurring more frequently than ever (pretty much every other day for a few hours), and the surgeon says he can't see me until the end of the month...Now I have to wait three weeks without knowing WHEN I'll get the pain, which although cruel in itself, also means I may end up missing more work and school. No work = no money for my bills (which already happened), and No school= I don't get to graduate this semester if I miss too much class.

This is all corporate bullshit. It's not about patient welfare. It's not about caring and compassion as medicine should be. It's just about making the most money. I'm just a social security number to them.

Thank GOD I got out of the medical field. Who cares about the money when you work in a jungle of apathetic assholes anyway.

I haven't come on here to write any stories about work because...well, to be honest, I'm so disillusioned by it that the thought of spending any energy talking about it makes me think twice before coming on here.

The patients are the only thing with any sort of variety around there...Otherwise, nothing ever changes... Most patient complaints are the same: fever, difficulty breathing, chest pain, injuries, nausea/vomiting, etc... The faces and last names change but, from a medical standpoint, we treat about 10 different complaints. That's it.

There's alot of unprofessional behavior going on as well... Which, too, is nothing new.

I had seen a light at the end of the tunnel not too long ago, but realizing that I'd probably miss school once I graduate makes me think I'll probably stay there longer...The flexibility would probably allow me to get a graduate degree faster than if I changed to a 9-5 job of course. Doesn't take a genius to figure that out. This also means that I'll continue to wish I worked somewhere else for a longer amount of time.

Having that bachelor's degree will make me somewhat ashamed to admit that I'm still at a dead end, 10/hour job, because thecommon thought is that once you've got a college degree more doors open up for you...that you're supposed to move up in your life...and I'm so afraid that I'll still be there...

The problem is that this is all I've done...EVER. Y'know, as a job. I never worked anywhere else in my entire "professional" life (whatever that means), so all creative thought as to what I'd like to do feels stifled. I have no idea where to go from here.

I COULD put all the experience I've acquired on my resume...but I'm afraid it's only good for continuing on a healthcare track...and I don't really wanna do that.

What company will be impressed with the fact that I can start an IV on a 3 day old baby unless it's a nursing staff company, a hospital, or doctor's office?

Yea. That's what I thought.

*sigh*

Busy bee

I suspect I won't be writing too much about the job that pays the bills for the next 6 weeks.

I think I'm slightly in over my head with the summer semester. Although I have to write more papers in a single semester than ever before, that's not even what I'm worried about. See, I signed up for statistics 2 but I'm beginning to realize I should have taken Stats I again. It's been 4 years since I took it. As I'm sitting here looking at the syllabus and exercises due within the next two weeks, I'm cowering in fear for lack of understanding. The problems look like calculus to me at this point.

I don't know what to do.

As for my job as an EMT, that's been cut down to weekends only for the next 6 weeks. At least I have a couple of weekends off here and there.

Work work work!

It's 10:48pm right now and I'm crossing my fingers that this horrible stomach ache goes away... I ate a Wendy's salad not too long ago and I'm starting to wonder whether it was completely fresh. I mean, it tasted fine but my stomach is doing all sorts of crazy stuff in there. If I have to miss work tomorrow I will scream.

And of course, I will continue my discourse about work now, since that's what I made this blog for...

As I've said before, now that I see an end in sight I like my job slightly more than usual. But I got to thinking today; the fact of the matter is that the kind of degree I'm graduating with in December isn't one that's going to allow me the luxury of leaving this job as soon as I'd like. The truth is that any other job I might find will probably end up paying the same amount of money as I'm making now, with the disadvantage of having to work regular workweeks like everyone else...Working a 3 days work week is not too shabby. I thought about how much free time that would leave me with, though, and it's not all too welcoming a thought. It's not like I run a household and have a million errands to run...Everyone I know works regular 5 day 9-5 jobs... what am I supposed to do with all that time off? I could get a second job, I suppose...OR I could also use this current job as cushioning during the weekends while I invest my weekdays in trying to succeed in what I'd ideally like: the music industry. That sounds like a good plan, actually.

Anyway, I didn't really come on here to write about that, but it was on my mind so I thought I'd add that in there.

Work is getting ridiculously out of control, as far as our manager's expectations of us (as EMTs). Last week there was a staff meeting in which possible additional tasks that will be added to our job descriptions were discussed; particularly, transporting patients from the ER to their inpatient rooms. We all (and I mean ALL...nurses included), think this is a huge problem.

There are countless tasks within our job descriptions as it is...And on a slow day, I don't mind taking a patient or two upstairs if the Transportation Department is backed up, or being lazy...But it shows that our manager no longer works on the floor, since it appears she's lost sight of everything that we have to do on a busy day in the ER. Perhaps she's forgotten.

On a busy day, how am I supposed to transport patients to their rooms while I have blood to draw in three rooms, urine to collect in another, a splint to place on a broken leg, two beds to clean, a wound to dress, an EKG to do, someone to take to XRay, AND ALL THE WHILE make sure my patients' vital signs are done every two hours?! It takes 20 minutes to half an hour just to transport the patient from our department to the floor...Thus, all my patients waiting in the department have now added half an hour to their stay in the ER. This issue will result in the delay of patient care! WE HAVE TRANSPORTERS FOR A REASON!

I find it hard to believe that someone in a position of authority over me lacks the common sense to see that this is a huge problem.

free time

Wow... 10 days off work...

I kinda wish they were calling me to come in... I need the money more than I need the time off.

A bleep on the radar screen

After a week of calm at work (thanks in part to the end of the school year), yesterday we got a poor little baby girl who came in with a complaint of cyanosis and limp limbs.

The baby was breathing just fine, but just one look at her told you there was something very very wrong with her. When you would lift her up to move her around in the crib, it was all dead weight. We immediately got to working on her.

We did a bedside glucose check, and the results were appalling. She had a blood sugar of 497, aka CRITICAL HIGH. The normal limits are betwen 70 and 120.

We drew blood on her and I ran it to the lab myself to make sure the lab technicians ran the tests as soon as possible; every minute wasted was a minute too much. Luckily, they pulled through and we had results within 15 minutes for the electrolytes and complete blood count.

Her white blood cell count was fine, which ruled out the possibility of the baby being septic; her electrolytes, however, were completely out of whack. She was going into hypovolemic shock.

It turns out she had diabetes. I wasn't aware that such a young baby (6 months old) could develop diabetes. After inquiring with one of the attending doctors, he told me that babies usually present with diabetes as a result of a viral illness or infection. Interesting. I learned something new, but it's a shame that I had to learn it at the expense of a precious life in danger.
I wish I would have read that in a book somewhere instead of having to experience it hands on.

Although I hate working weekends, this one wasn't so bad. I think it has alot to do with the fact that now I see some light at the end of the tunnel, and the reality of not having to be there forever is finally shining through. Now that I know I will soon be moving on to bigger and better things, work doesn't seem as bad as it used to.